No More Time' or 'So Much Regret'
by OpalOwly
Summary: Byakuya regrets that he doesn't have time to say all the things and do all the things he neglected to do while he had the chance.


**I'll warn you right now: this is far from my best work. This is a spur of the moment oneshot. So be warned.**

**Note: I'm running out of things to wish on because everything else I tried failed miserably, which should be obvious because I still don't own Bleach (X_X) XD**

**Also, I love it when the little review fairy comes around. It makes me so happy. As for flames, lets just say I read reviews with a fire extinguisher just in case. **

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><p>The hurt in her eyes as she looks down at me tears my heart to pieces. The fear, the sorrow, and the confusion swirl around in her wide eyes, and it makes me want to cry. But I won't because I have to be strong for her. She takes my hand in hers and gives it a squeeze although I don't know whether she's trying to comfort her own self or me. I do my best to force a smile on my bruised and broken face, and it hurts, but I refuse to show the pain. She needs to know that everything is going to be alright.<p>

She's trying not to cry, I can tell. Her chest is heaving up and down and she's swallowing and blinking as she tries to repress the tears. Her lip begins to tremble and her beautiful face crumples as she begins to give in. She's trying to be strong for _me_, and I can't imagine why. I'm not afraid of anything; I can be strong for myself.

I want to tell her not to cry, that it's doing nothing but hurting me. But I keep quiet because she needs this; she needs to let go of her emotions. The first tear slips down her cheek and then it's followed by countless others. I wince. Even now, I'm hurting her, just as I have the entire time I've known her.

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><p>From the moment I met her, she's been the guiding light in my life. She's been my pride and my reason for living. There have only been two people in my life that I have <em>truly<em> loved. After I lost the first person, I went through a period of great darkness. Years later, people would tell me that the light had left my eyes and that I was only a shell of my former self. Life became a haze, just something I drifted through until I hopefully died. The people in it were nothing but poor stand-ins for the one who had left such a huge gaping hole in me. All I could do was remember when I was whole and happy.

Then she entered my life. She turned my world upside down and at first, I hated her. All she did was aggravate the wound in my heart I was just beginning to close. She was too much like _her_, my first love, and I couldn't look at her without remembering the beautiful flower and bright light that had been cruelly torn from my grasp. But there was something about her that I couldn't ignore. She was relentless in her quest to work her way into my heart, and I don't know when, but eventually she succeeded. And even then, I didn't treasure her as I ought to have.

For that, I almost lost her. The memory shames me even now. It still eats at me that when she was in danger, there were those who stood to her defense and I was not one of them. At that point, I was still trying to deny that she meant so much to me. But after I almost lost her forever, I couldn't deny my love for her any longer.

Even then, I did not give her the affection she deserved. She always loved me and trusted me. In return, I gave her a critical eye and sparing words of affection. I do not even remember having embraced her, ever. I have done nothing for her; I have not done right by her.

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><p>I regret that now. I won't get a chance to make up for it. There isn't much time left for me here. Even now, I can see my life spilling from me and pooling on the ground in little puddles of crimson. I doubt I have even an hour left in this world.<p>

If I could have just one wish granted to me, I would ask for more time. There are too many things I have left unsaid. There are so many things I want to tell her. I want to apologize for everything I've done to her and everything I haven't done for her. I want to thank her for everything she's done for me. I want to make the memories that should have been made but weren't. I want to thank her for being the joy of my life, for being an even brighter light than my first love, and for giving me a reason to live again. And most of all, I want to tell her that I love her more than anything else and anyone else in the world. I want to prove it to her; I want to be sure that she understands.

But I can't do any of that because there isn't time.

She's sobbing now. She makes no attempt to mask her anguish. The sight above me is heartbreaking. She is kneeling over me, leaning so close that her hot tears fall onto my face. She looks so distraught, and I wish there is something I could do about it, that there was some way to ease her pain. But incompetent and useless as I am, I can do nothing.

With an effort, I squeeze her hand.

"Yes, Nii-sama?" she gasps.

"I'm sorry…" I whisper. "I didn't… care for you like I… should have."

She shakes her head. "No, no. You've been so good to me. You shouldn't be sorry…" she says. Of course she would say that. She doesn't understand just a much I have failed her. She doesn't understand that I could have – should have – done better.

I feel my reiatsu all but disappear and she feels it, too. Her eyes widen and she buries her face in my chest. Using the very last of my strength, I place my hand on her head, a pitiful gesture of affection. "Rukia," I whisper, "Just… _please_ know that… I love you…"

Her head jerks up to look at me, but I close my eyes because I don't want to see the pain on her face.

_Rukia… please forgive me. Even now, in death, I am causing you pain and sorrow… _I think. Then, there is no more pain and no more discomfort. I suppose my time has finally come.


End file.
